IT'S BACK!!!! IT'S BACK!!!!

The Quote Database has a new home! Oh, goody goody gumdrops!

The Quote Database's New Home

Sometimes the simplest ones are golden.

Deep Thoughts

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? (For the answer: spell 'Evian' backwards.)

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one
enjoys it?

4. There are three religious truths: Jews do not recognize Jesus as the
Messiah, Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith, and Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor
store or at Hooters.

5. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

7. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

8. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

9. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

10. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

11. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your
two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

12. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

13. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?

14. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

15. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a race car not called a racist?

16. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

17. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

18. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

19. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

20. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

21. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

22. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older; then it dawned on me. They're cramming for
their final exam.

23. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?

24. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they
deliver the mail?

25. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the others here for?

26. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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